Testing the Hypothesis, Part 1
Healthier School Lunches Kids today aren't being served healthy enough meals from schools for lunch Who: Elementary School Kids What: Are not being served healthy meals by their schools Why: School's neglect the importance of healthy foods and resort to cheaper/easier options Hypothesis Testing the who: This problem can expand beyond just elementary school kids. Middle schools, high schools, and even college dining halls can have this issue, as well. It impacts younger students the most, however, because they are the ones who most need the nutritious value, and they are in less control of what foods they eat. Testing the what: There is an argument to be made that this country has issues with unhealthy food. My counter to that is that schools absolutely have the ability to serve healthier options, but they openly choose not to for financial or convenience reasons. Also, again, other people have options in terms of what they eat; kids stuck at school do not have a c
Hello Grant! I like your problem and solution, and how your hook included a statistics to grab the viewer's attention. There are a couple of things that could be improved, particularly with your video quality and your body movements. I'm not sure which recording device you use, but if you could either move it to get better lighting or get an external source of light, it would make the video look much better. Additionally, it seems that you swayed a lot during your pitch, which can be distracting. But the message was great and I agree wholeheartedly.
ReplyDeleteHi Grant,
ReplyDeleteI find that you have discovered an ongoing problem in today's world and a solution to that problem. Moreover, I find that you had a very persuasive elevator pitch, as you started your speech with important and uncommon statistics. In order to create a better elevator pitch, I would recommend recording yourself in area with better lighting, and I would consider wearing more professional clothing, like a sports coat and a button down.
Hey Grant! Good start with the statistic! 1 in 5 kids is a very concerning number, and definitely hooks prospective customers to listen to what you have to say. You were very enthusiastic and knowledgeable about your opportunity, so the pitch was very easy to follow. Your hand movements helped get certain points across, but be careful with moving them around too much, as that can become distracting. Good job though!
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