Venture Concept No. 2
My business involves providing better school lunch services to schools around the country. The people who have this need the most are elementary school students. A majority of kids rely on school lunch food for their meals. Teachers also have this need, as a good amount of them also rely on school lunch. They are all at school for a long period of time, and they are unable to go out and get outside food. There are no changes to the environment that are causing this need. It is a need that has always existed without a real solution existing. The geographic area I am covering will be to start in Florida and later expand to around the United States. Demographically, I am focusing on 4-10-year-old elementary school kids. Customers are currently satisfying this need through the basic food provided by their local school district. Most would be more than willing to switch over to my company given the opportunity. I think this is a huge opportunity since there is such a huge market and so few ...
Hello Grant! I like your problem and solution, and how your hook included a statistics to grab the viewer's attention. There are a couple of things that could be improved, particularly with your video quality and your body movements. I'm not sure which recording device you use, but if you could either move it to get better lighting or get an external source of light, it would make the video look much better. Additionally, it seems that you swayed a lot during your pitch, which can be distracting. But the message was great and I agree wholeheartedly.
ReplyDeleteHi Grant,
ReplyDeleteI find that you have discovered an ongoing problem in today's world and a solution to that problem. Moreover, I find that you had a very persuasive elevator pitch, as you started your speech with important and uncommon statistics. In order to create a better elevator pitch, I would recommend recording yourself in area with better lighting, and I would consider wearing more professional clothing, like a sports coat and a button down.
Hey Grant! Good start with the statistic! 1 in 5 kids is a very concerning number, and definitely hooks prospective customers to listen to what you have to say. You were very enthusiastic and knowledgeable about your opportunity, so the pitch was very easy to follow. Your hand movements helped get certain points across, but be careful with moving them around too much, as that can become distracting. Good job though!
ReplyDelete